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sexual myth

Experience in sex is not a degree

Experience in sex is not a degree: why you may have had many relationships and not be a good lover

As in the kitchen, in sex it is not the same to do the usual many times, than to learn and cultivate oneself to innovate.

It is true that experience is a degree. But perhaps we are taking too much for granted that, in terms of sex, the more you practice, the better you do it and the more you know, giving rise to what is one of the great myths of sexuality.

To begin with, because “having a lot of experience” is something relative. Yes, in a resume we can verify that this person has developed different functions and imagine what capacities he has been forced to develop. We can even check previous employers. When it comes to sex, having had many relationships does not always mean that person has learned and has been improving. Plus, it’s much harder to call your exes to check.

“The experience is very subjective”, the sexologist in Delhi Dr P K Gupta emphasizes this idea . “Perhaps a person has only had one partner, but he has experienced a lot. On the other hand, another has had many partners, but has been able to delve little into sexuality. Thus, every time she starts with someone new, she generates the same pattern and, since there is no trust, no one tells her that she does not like it and she continues to believe that she does everything well”, he exemplifies as one of the most common situations .

Lots of practice, but little theory

So why do we always tend to think that, in the art of sex, experience makes perfect? This myth is mainly based on two ideas. The first is that we continue to believe that quantity matters more than quality. However, nobody usually asks about the quality of relationships, but about how long they last and how many times they have a week. When perhaps that is not the most important fact.

The other idea to banish is that sex is only learned through practice. As if we didn’t need to know anything about theory. If we transfer this idea to the kitchen, there are those who think that everything is to put on, and who knows that, to cook really well, and not just muddle through, you have to have some clear ideas and have a couple of cookbooks on hand . Well, with sex, the same thing happens. We can always make the same dish, but to stand out, it is necessary to learn, innovate and strive to improve.

“Only the practical experience is very lame”, clarifies the best sexologist in Delhi about this idea. “That is why it is very important to read, talk, exchange opinions and experiences, listen, be receptive and have an open attitude to learning.”

In fact, one of the great problems of sexuality is that we go into practice, having learned very little theory. And what we have doesn’t always come from the most appropriate sources. Above all, in the absence of formal sex education. “Normally we go to the Internet, we continue to see an expert as a resource when faced with a problem, it is hard for us to think that they also serve to advise us, inform us and guide us in a personalized way when in doubt”, Dr P K Gupta points out.

However, another of the big mistakes is to go with our doubts to a friend with more experience or to the ‘fuckologist’ on duty, who tries to give us the keys based on his own experience in particular, without understanding that sex is a science and that many times, what works least is to generalize.

And then what makes a good lover?

Being clear that having a lot of experience does not necessarily make us better, if it has not been of quality, one might wonder what we can do to be much more competent lovers. “Experience usually helps, it’s true, but it’s just an extra”, clarifies Dr P K Gupta once again. “What would help us is to know the bodies, to know how sexuality works and, above all, to learn sexual skills, that is, to know the body of the other, to know how to empathize with their needs, to know how to talk about it naturally, etc. We should all train ourselves to know the physiology, the points of pleasure and learn to communicate, ”says the sexologist in Delhi as a recipe.

Another key idea is provided by Dr P K Gupta. “An important issue is interest, motivation.” In the end, wanting to be a good lover consists of making an effort to be one, and for that you have to be open to learning and improving, and not simply repeating the same recipe over and over again. “The greater your interest and your desire to learn, the easier it will be for you to deal pleasantly with different people.”

Finally, Dr Gupta concludes that there are things that can be learned through experience, but not in any way. “There are aspects to cultivate, for example, listening, curiosity, empathy, learning, humor, play. It is very important to be aware that what one person likes may not excite another and that each erotic experience is a new experience, whatever we have had. That is why it is so important to deepen your learning and your listening and not stick with the typical ‘tips’ that anyone can offer”.

Symptoms of sexual problems in marriage

Symptoms of sexual problems in marriage

In married life, sex is a very important part of life. A happy couple must have good sex (higher quality than most). For a family to thrive, parents must be actively involved in their happiness. When sex life is very low it can be a warning sign that there are other problems in a marriage, other than sex.

It is important to consider that poor sexual health in marriage increases the chances of separation in less than a year. In this sense, it is important to consider the symptoms that will indicate that your sexual health is declining significantly, suggests sexologist in Delhi.

Symptoms of low sex drive

  • You have sex once or twice a month
  • Sex becomes more than just a matter of taste
  • He engages in sexual relations only if they are premeditated
  • You do not feel close or intimate with your partner after having sex
  • Your partner’s sexual desires have ceased to exist, and yours is also reflected in their absence.
  • It seems that you are the only one who wants to have sex because your partner is not interested in sex
  • There is no sense of pleasure or selfishness in a sexual relationship with your partner
  • None of you want sex while you sleep
  • Your spouse enjoys solitude and doesn’t want to have sex with you
  • You may enjoy pornography on your own and / or masturbate instead of having sex with your partner

While sexuality is important, research shows that couples who communicate well and share things are more likely to have sex. Before you try to improve your sex life with toys or underwear or sex, work with communication skills and spend more time with your partner.

How do you control premature ejaculation

How do you control premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation affects many men worldwide, it is the most common sexual problem among those under 40 years of age. It is important to understand the physical and mental causes behind the problem, but until this happens, fortunately, many techniques will help to delay or eliminate premature ejaculation.

Take a deep breath!

deep breath

Deep breathing is a form of meditation that often helps control sexual desire and tension leading to premature ejaculation. Superficial, rapid breathing speeds up the pulse, which can cause premature erections and ejaculation.

Try to inhale the air well for 5 seconds, then hold it in for 3 seconds and only then blow it out slowly, again for 5 seconds. If you can continue this rhythmic breathing for 5 minutes, you can take great advantage of it in the bedroom too! In addition, trying to breathe with your partner, paying attention to each other, greatly enhances intimacy.

Masturbate more often!

masturbation

There are practical reasons for this advice: although men have significant amounts of sperm, they are not infinite. The more times you masturbate, the next time you can delay ejaculation longer.

Try interrupted masturbation! The point of this is that when you feel an orgasm approaching, it stops and then, after a short rest, continues to satisfy and stop, gradually getting closer and closer to orgasm, until you can no longer stop. Try pushing this out for 15 minutes, but if you feel your testicles or penis hurt, don’t stop yourself anymore. If you do this exercise regularly, you can experience where the point from which there is “no going back” is. If you feel you are already a master of technique, you can also try it in the bedroom.

Pressure

pressure

Applying pressure to the bottom of the penis – to the same point that helps to delay orgasm during intermittent masturbation – can slightly reduce the amount of erection, thus delaying ejaculation. Once you know exactly what this point is, you can even ask your partner to help you practice this technique.

Kegel practice

kegel exercise

The relatively easy and discreet Kegel exercise is not only beneficial for women. There is no better way to train pelvic floor muscles and strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle). The PC muscle is located between the pubic bone and the coccyx and helps control urine and ejaculation, respectively.

The easiest way to train this muscle is to try to stop urine leaking on the toilet. To do this, you need to use the PC muscle. During Kegel exercise, this muscle should be stretched for approx. 10 seconds, then relax. Perform at least three sequences of exercises in a row, with 10-second breaks between them. You can do the exercise anywhere, anytime, either while driving or in front of the TV. The exercise strengthens the PC muscle so you can delay ejaculation by tightening it near orgasm.

Try new sex poses!

sexual dysfunction in women

Real sex is more than a traditional source of physical pleasure. Try new sex poses or apply tantric techniques during intimate togetherness! You may even find that you last longer in certain poses, ejaculate later. Generally, when the woman is on top, premature ejaculation can be delayed while the missionary pose is avoided.

If you feel close to orgasm, stop the stimulation (e.g., pull out your penis for a short time), stretch your PC muscle, and take a deep breath! Repeat this until the ejaculation compulsion is gone.

Condom

condom

A condom reduces the sensitivity of the penis, so stimulation is less of a problem. Avoid condoms with warm lubricants that provide a warm atmosphere – the more stimulation, the greater the risk of premature ejaculation.

The use of a benzocaine condom, which can delay ejaculation by up to 5 minutes, is highly recommended. These condoms are treated with a mild anesthetic, benzocaine, which helps prevent premature ejaculation by reducing sexual stimulation. Don’t worry, you’ll still enjoy being together. If in doubt, try masturbating first to see the benefits of using it.

If you are allergic to latex, look for a condom based on polyurethane or polyisoprene.

Talk to your partner!

Communication is the basis of any relationship, and when it comes to sex, it is also important. Talk to your partner about premature ejaculation. Tell her if you feel close to ejaculation and interrupt the act for a short time. This can be a great time to pamper your partner orally or manually. If you feel ready again, they can continue making love.

Don’t have unrealistic expectations!

Focus on the joy! Premature ejaculation has no definition given in minutes or seconds. When stressed, it is not only psychologically unhealthy, but can even trigger premature ejaculation. Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your problem and possible alternatives. Remember, sex should be joyful and not stressful.

what is erection

What is erection: myths and facts about this phenomenon!

There are many rumours and myths about male erection. Increasingly, men are asking themselves how to ensure a lasting and firm erection. Therefore, they are led to look for shorter shortcuts, both to increase erectile function and to increase the size of the penis.

What is erection?

Before we start debating anything, it is necessary to define what an erection is:

Erection is a physiological phenomenon, in which the male reproductive system (the penis) hardens due to the high blood supply to the vessels that compose it.

The main purpose of erection is to allow a man and a woman to be able to reproduce. But in order to achieve this state, many factors of different origins must be present.

What is an erect penis?

We must remember that the human penis has no bones, like those of some animals. In humans, the organs responsible for erection are actually two spongy areas called corpora cavernosa. The cavernous bodies are, as their name implies, composed of tiny caves.

When the person feels sexually stimulated, these areas fill with blood. In addition, as the penis is covered by a layer that does not stretch, it has no choice but to gain volume while straightening, as the corpora cavernosa are filled with blood.

However, it is necessary to remember that, for an erection to occur, there must be arousal and sexual stimuli. And it is in accordance with this desire that the brain orders the penis to be erect.

In a healthy man, an erect penis can support up to 8 times normal blood flow. However, a small problem in the complex erection system can already cause erectile dysfunction.

Erection is achieved through an eight-step process:

  1. First, sexual arousal is triggered.
  2. The brain transmits this signal to the body, through the spinal cord and nerves.
  3. The blood vessels then release nitric oxide.
  4. Nitric oxide relaxes the arteries of the penis.
  1. And the blood flow in the penis grows.
  2. The veins of the penis constrict, trapping blood in the limb.
  3. Erectile tissue fills with blood, swells and hardens.
  4. Finally, the penis is erect.

Why is the penis erect?

There are several reasons why the male sex organ reaches erection. These different causes are usually called stimulants and vary according to orders and types. We can define them as follows:

  • Physical stimuli, for example: touching, contact with the penis, caresses.
  • Provocations of a psychological nature, such as: desire for the partner, sexual imagination and many others.
  • There is also the order of the sensory, for example: looking at an attractive body, smelling a perfume, etc.

However, it is still important to note that a man’s penis can be erect even without any stimulation. That is, what happens, for example, during the night, when a person is sleeping. Usually called nocturnal erections, they can occur 3 to 6 times a night. Likewise, there are morning erections, which occur very early in the morning.

This means that, at any time of the day or night, the penis can become hard. And in many situations, rigidity can be either voluntary or involuntary.

Is erection synonymous with desire?

As stated earlier, in most cases, the man must be stimulated in some way to make the penis hard. It takes stimulation for the process to start in the brain.

However, there are situations in which the penis hardens without the man feeling any form of desire. This is the case, for example, with priapism: a problem caused by different diseases or neurological disorders. Thus, priapism is an erection that lasts more than 4 hours and is often accompanied by pain.

On the other hand, involuntary erections are perfectly normal in teenagers and adults. In addition, an erection, although in most cases caused by a stimulus, does not necessarily require a sexual desire. Many men, as we said earlier, have erection without arousal – night or morning.

Night / morning erection is one of the three main types of erections possible. Also called reflex erection, its particularity is to appear very early in the morning. In fact, extensive studies have been carried out to understand its origin, what are its causes and how it works:

Morning erection and REM sleep

Men have night-time erections while sleeping: when they go into deep sleep (REM), an erection begins, lasting a period of 20 to 25 minutes.

On average, a person has five erections per night, and, in total, men spend 25% of the night with an erect penis. Therefore, the morning erection is basically the last one of the nights. Furthermore, contrary to what many believe, morning erection has nothing to do with the urge to urinate: this is a myth.

Morning erection is healthy for the body

Not only is he normal, but he is also healthy too: his body is calibrated to wake up with an erection every morning. In fact, the absence of regular morning erections can signal some hidden problem. It can be a sign, for example, of something more serious with your heart, blood circulation, hormone levels or your sleeping habits.

In general, the absence of night or morning erections is an important indicator for other health problems, precisely because they are involuntary and not psychological or related to arousal.

If your morning erection stops occurring regularly, talk to a sexologist in Delhi.

The two main theories about why men have night-time erections concern hormone levels and increased blood flow:

  • Noradrenaline production drops during sleep (this is the chemical element responsible for the control of testosterone, which makes erection possible).
  • Nitric oxide increases during REM sleep (this is the chemical element that relaxes the arteries of the penis and increases blood flow enough to cause an erection).

Dr P K Gupta Super Specialty Clinic Pvt. Ltd.

1B, Metro Plaza, Next to Gate No. 8, Karol Bagh Metro Station, Karol Bagh,

New Delhi, Delhi 110005, India

Phone: 9999925201
Email: pkguptametrotower@gmail.com

Monday10:00 – 20:00
Tuesday10:00 – 20:00
Wednesday10:00 – 20:00
Thursday10:00 – 20:00
Friday10:00 – 20:00
Saturday10:00 – 20:00
Sunday11:00 – 15:30
Sexual Relationships

Sexual Relationships And Couple

Sexual relations are something that is part of the life of a couple. It is very normal that passion and sexual desire are more intense at the beginning of the relationship. However, this passion often diminishes over time and causes a lack of sexual desire or loss of sex drive and libido.

SOME TIPS TO GET OUT OF THE ROUTINE IN SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH YOUR PARTNER

Sex with a partner is a way of relating and maintaining the mutual bond, therefore it is not healthy that sex is purely routine, but a way of enjoying together. In addition, sexual relations are very healthy for both the body and the mind.

There is no secret to keeping your sensuality and sexual desire alive. The main thing is to keep communication alive and share the wishes and concerns of the other.

In addition to this, you can resort to generating new situations that are not used to giving, such as having sex in places in the house where it is not customary to do. It is also fun to start the sexual act with some unusual foreplay, such as performing a “striptease” to the partner, playing with food, or doing an erotic massage. For this, it is convenient to know how the couple likes to receive the massage so that it is the most pleasant and stimulating.

Apart from the sexual act, there are many possibilities that stimulate the relationship and can help us improve sexual desire. For example, bathing together with the bathroom lights off and candles lit around them, which can be accompanied by scented bath salts. Thinking back to communication between the two of you, it can be fun exchanging racy text messages before physically meeting your partner, or even having a phone conversation explaining what we want to do when we meet.

And for those who are looking for other ways to have sex, a good idea is to visit a Sex Shop together and choose some type of toy to use in bed. In these shops there are almost always news that help us discover new ways of relating. The more daring would also like to play domination in bed. It can be done without having to buy any gadget and with total safety, for example by tying the wrists with a tie or covering the couple’s eyes with a handkerchief. From here the fantasy of each couple can go anywhere.

In short, starting from the base of maintaining good communication between the couple, the possibilities of getting new stimuli for sex are practically infinite and only depend on the imagination of each one, but in some cases it is advisable to put yourself in the hands of professionals and specialists such as the Dr P K Gupta, best sexologist in Delhi, who will be able to determine what psychological and physiological factors are causing the lack of libido and sexual drive in the couple.

Dr P K Gupta Super Specialty Clinic Pvt. Ltd.

1B, Metro Plaza, Next to Gate No. 8, Karol Bagh Metro Station, Karol Bagh,

New Delhi, Delhi 110005, India

Phone: 9999925201
Email: pkguptametrotower@gmail.com

Monday10:00 – 20:00
Tuesday10:00 – 20:00
Wednesday10:00 – 20:00
Thursday10:00 – 20:00
Friday10:00 – 20:00
Saturday10:00 – 20:00
Sunday11:00 – 15:30
Male Infertility of Testicular Origin

Male Infertility of Testicular Origin

According to the best sexologist in Delhi, there are numerous factors that can cause male infertility as a result of their effect on the generation and maturation of sperm in the testicles themselves, generating oligozoospermia (low concentration of sperm in semen), asthenozoospermia (low mobility of sperm), teratozoospermia (abnormal in sperm morphology) or secretory azoospermia (no sperm are produced in the testes).

The most common causes of male infertility of testicular origin include the following:

  • High testicular temperature: the normal temperature of the testicles should be between 35.5º and 36º. Any elevation above these figures has a negative impact on the sperm maturation process that begins in the seminiferous tubules.
  • Toxic agents: there are numerous environmental factors to whose exposure the testicles can see altered the activity of Sertoli cells, which play an essential role in the transformation of spermatidine into mature sperm: tobacco, environmental pollution, pesticides, consumption of meat from animals hormonalized with estrogens, use of certain drugs, radiotherapy, professional exposure to toxic substances, etc.
  • Klinefelter syndrome or XXY males: this is a chromosomal abnormality in which males have an extra X chromosome, causing a drop in testosterone that prevents sperm production (azoospermia). In addition, it causes anatomical alterations in the sexual organs, such as hypoganadism or micropenis.
  • Other genetic factors: in recent times, genetic alterations have been detected in areas of the Y chromosome that negatively affect the spermatogenesis process, causing oligospermia or azoospermia. This is the reason that in assisted reproduction clinics men with a sperm concentration of less than five million.
  • Trauma: strong blows to the testicles can affect the mechanisms of sperm production and maturation.
  • Testicular pathologies: there are different diseases that affect the testicle and that condition the correct production of sperm:

–  Varicocele: is responsible for 20% of cases of male infertility that are detected in assisted reproduction clinics. It is characterized by venous valve insufficiency of the spermatic veins and, depending on its severity, can cause teratozoospermia and oligozoospermia.
–  Cryptorchidism: It is a problem that occurs essentially in boys as one or both testicles do not descend into the scrotum, so, among other things, they are subjected to temperatures above 36º, which affects the quality of the sperm. It can also occur after puberty as a result of mumps.
–  Hydrocele: it is the accumulation of fluid around the testicle, which causes a significant increase in the overall volume of the scrotal bag that contains it. In principle, it may not compromise fertility, but there is a risk of complications that can cause infertility.
–  Genitourinary infections: they can cause testicular atrophy, obstruction of the seminal tract, generation of antisperm antibodies or compromise the accessory glands. They account for 5% of cases of male infertility, although some studies indicate that in 15% of men the semen analysis offers positive results.

Sexuality in Pregnancy

Sexuality in Pregnancy

Many factors in addition to the biology of pregnancy intervene to determine the patterns of sexual behavior during pregnancy. The way a woman feels motherhood, the quality (or absence) of her marriage, cultural expectations, pre-existing sexual attitude, and other individual considerations are undoubtedly of the utmost importance. The presence of medical complications in the pregnant woman or the concern about abortion or genetic complications of the fetus, will also influence sexual behavior. ”

(Masters & Johnson, 1966)

When talking about sexuality in pregnancy, it is necessary to take into account that there may be changes due to the physiological and psychological changes that are characteristic of each trimester. On the other hand, the way in which the couple experiences their sexuality is conditioned by the individuality of each of the partners and by their social context, which in turn is a reflection of a set of beliefs, traditions, and myths.

Since during pregnancy, the genitals and breasts will be the preferred targets of hormones, and these are also the preferred targets of sexual responses, changes in sexuality during pregnancy turn out to be inevitable and understandable. Many other structures change, from rounded shapes to widening holes, and all of these can have a positive or negative effect on the couple’s intimate relationship.

1st trimester (0 – 12 weeks)

This phase is characterized by the increase and stiffness of the breasts, vaginal tension, nausea and vomiting, tiredness, and nausea, all of these factors justify the decrease in desire and sexual response.

2nd trimester (13 – 27 weeks)

The second trimester is a period of calm, more comfortable for women. There is an increase in vascularization and engorgement of the breasts, the labia majora, and the vagina, which increase sexual tension, facilitating orgastic capacity, in addition, the discomfort due to excess tension observed in the first trimester is mitigated. Some women describe a significant improvement in sexual intercourse at this stage.

3rd Quarter (28 – 40 weeks)

This quarter has the most differences from case to case. Certain women will continue to express an increased interest in sexuality, while in most cases there is a marked reduction in sexual relations in relation to the second trimester. It should be noted that at this stage of pregnancy the abdomen has a greater weight and volume, in addition to heartburn, muscle pain, and possible outflow of milk, caused by excitation and/or strong uterine contractions after orgasm. It should be noted that in this phase the libido remains elevated, due to the abundant vaginal lubrication and the increase of the pelvic pressure of the uterus, which increases the resolution time, increasing the orgasm.

It is important to note that there are some factors that have an impact on sexual desire, some that are constant throughout pregnancy, others that are more frequent in the third trimester, among which the body self-image, the fear of hurting the baby can be highlighted, as well as the size of the woman’s abdomen that can cause discomfort in certain sexual positions, for example, in the missionary position.

In short, sexuality in pregnancy is experienced differently by couples. It is important to take into account that the various emotional, physiological, hormonal, and psychological changes can make it necessary to change sexual patterns and habits. Depending on the state and health of the pregnant woman, there may be stages in which it is important to stop penetration and it is necessary to resort to other forms of sexual stimulation, such as masturbation, oral or anal sex. Other women only need greater intimate closeness and greater attention on the part of their partner. It is essential that the two communicate so that this phase can be lived in the best way by both, suggests sexologist in Delhi.

Can yoga improve sexual function

Can yoga improve sexual function?

Yoga, the ancient Indian tradition that incorporates breathing and meditation with posture, is widely practised today. And many people and sexologist in Delhi think that regular yoga practice has sexual benefits.

Here are some of the ways that yoga can improve  sexual function :

– Relaxation. Stress, anxiety and fatigue can make sex difficult or unsatisfactory. Yoga can relax the body and relieve these symptoms.

– Better blood flow to the genitals. For a man, relaxation of the body helps the blood flow to the penis, giving it a  firmer erection. For a woman, greater blood flow to the vagina helps with better sensation and lubrication.

– Potential for better cardiovascular health. Yoga can reduce the risk of heart disease symptoms, such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries), which can also improve genital blood flow.

– Attention. Yoga focuses on the body and breathing, making the practitioner more aware of these areas. This attention can be useful during sex, too. Focusing on the physical, sensual aspects of sex – and keeping your mind organized – can make sex more enjoyable.

– Flexibility. After practising yoga for a while, the body grows accustomed to different forms of stretching, bending and movement. This can make sex more comfortable. It can also help couples who are experiencing new sexual positions.

– Stronger pelvic floor muscles. Some poses strengthen and tone the pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to more intense orgasms.

Patients who are new to yoga practice should do some research before starting the practice. A professional can help you determine which type of yoga is best. Some patients, such as those with back, neck, or shoulder problems, may need to change positions to suit their needs. A qualified yoga instructor should be able to suggest – and teach – these adjustments.

Sexual Response

Sexual Response

The sexual response reveals the cycle of desire, arousal, orgasm, and satisfaction, although in different ways in men and women. What happens in our bodies when we feel erotic pleasure?

What is a sexual response?

The sexual response refers to the cycle of human sexuality that includes the process of desire, arousal, and orgasm in men and women. The sexual response consists of several phases that, in general, follow one another in the order that you will find below. For example, it is difficult to reach an intense and pleasant orgasm without having previously gone through a phase of increased arousal.

However, there are two aspects that accompany us throughout the cycle of our sexual response: desire and satisfaction. Without satisfaction in the different phases, we will hardly find the desire that maintains our impulse to initiate or continue an erotic encounter.

Specifically, the phases of sexual response are as follows:

  • Desire phase
  • Excitation phase
  • Orgasmic phase
  • Resolution phase
  • Satisfaction phase

Although men and women share these phases, in each of the sexes there are a series of physiological aspects and reactions, as well as a series of anatomical changes, that differentiate us. Below we will address in more detail what happens in each of these phases and how they vary in them.

The sexual response: desire phase

The desire appears in our lives in general, and specifically in our sexuality, as a physical and mental perception that drives us to the subject or the object of our desire. Sometimes it arises involuntarily, it surprises us, we become aware of it without having foreseen it, for example when you read a scene from a novel and notice a tingling inside you and you say to yourself: well, I would like to try it. Desire is also deliberately elicited by voluntary, exciting, attractive, or suggestive erotic action that can set it in motion.

Desire is felt, perceived, and leads us to seek its satisfaction. When the initial desire grows, we begin to notice the changes that the phenomenon of arousal causes in our body. The desire usually triggers the beginning of our sexual response and accompanies us, full of nuances, throughout this erotic process.

The desire phase in women

It is not uncommon to hear that in women desire is something complex and even incomprehensible; however, the heart of the matter is simply the fact that female desire functions not identically to male desire. Visual stimuli, for example, have less of an effect on women, while emotions, imagination, and sensual caresses play an important role.

In women, desire is usually associated with willingness to initiate a sexual encounter, when in reality this is false. Desire in women can be associated with the desire to have erotic exchanges other than a traditional sexual encounter, and these can range from a kiss or sensual caresses to an exciting and explicit encounter, but without penetration, for example. The diversity in the nuances of what women want when they want is immense.

The desire phase in men

In general, male desire is triggered many times by a visual stimulus, and also by imagined stimuli or sexual fantasies. Of course, as in the case of women, it is also triggered by a series of tactile stimuli that the person perceives as pleasant, exciting, and satisfying.

In general, male desire and arousal are usually associated with penis erection, although, although this association is often true, there are always exceptions and there may be desire without an erection and even excitement without desire.

Of course, many men break the mold and surprise their partners with original wishes and innovative ideas. Ultimately, every man and every woman can have their own desire triggers, and these may be different from other peoples. The search for normality, or socially standardized desire, is often a great enemy of sexual desire.

The sexual response: arousal phase

In the arousal phase, our sexual tension increases, it grows fueled by the erotic stimuli that surround us. This increasing sexual arousal manifests itself in a series of characteristic changes in our anatomy and physiology, and in turn in an increase in our desire. Of course, this phase can be short or long, everything will depend on our body, our feelings and the circumstances.

Throughout this phase –the second within the sexual response–, in both men and women, the heart rate accelerates, our blood pressure rises and our muscles become tenser and tenser.

Arousal in women

The clitoris swells, or what is the same, remains erect, and the labia major and minor also swell and their color becomes more intense, as blood flows into it.

As we progress through this stage, the glans of the clitoris – the visible part of this organ of pleasure – retracts and is covered by the cap. This is important as it may mean that we want a change in how we stimulate ourselves. In addition, the vagina becomes lubricated and enlarged, the uterus rises, and the nipples harden and increase in size.

Excitement in men

The vasocongestion of the male genital area causes the erection of the penis, in addition the scrotum swells and the testicles rise. Some men, as in the case of women, also experience a tightening of the nipples and an increase in their sensitivity.

As we advance in this phase, and the excitement increases, the hardness of the shaft of the penis and the glans intensifies, and its color become more purplish. All this is due to the influx of blood into the corpora cavernosa, which is the erectile tissue of the penis. Cowper’s glands or bulbourethral glands secrete precum to acidify the urethra and prepare it for the passage of semen during the orgasmic phase.

The sexual response: orgasmic phase

When arousal increases and a threshold is exceeded, orgasm arrives. In the orgasmic phase – the third within the sexual response – the muscular tension that we had accumulated during the increasing arousal intensifies even more and is released shortly thereafter. Our breathing continues to increase in rate, as do our heart rate and blood pressure. It is the highest expression of the arousal phase.

Orgasm in women

The orgasmic phase is characterized by a series of contractions that begin in the outer third of the vagina, extending toward the vulva and anus, and into the uterus. These contractions, which are very intense at first and then softer, take place at 0.8-second intervals. The number of contractions ranges from three to fifteen, depending on each woman; her age, her orgasmic frequency, the muscle tone of her puboccyocgeal muscles, the level of arousal, and the quality of the stimuli, for example. These are generally very pleasant contractions.

These spasmodic contractions refer to the organic phenomenon, but a woman is much more than her body and, consequently, the perception of this is a very personal experience, closely related to the degree of abandonment to the sensations of pleasure and her expectations of satisfaction. In this, men and women fully agree.

Orgasm in men

As in the case of women, spasmodic contractions also occur every 0.8 seconds, they are usually very pleasant and are perceived in a subjective and significant way by each man, but, unlike the female orgasmic response, the male has two phases: the emission phase and the ejaculation phase.

In the emission phase, the prostate and seminal vesicles contract, and the semen reaches the base of the urethra. It is the moment when you have the feeling of no return, that ejaculation is inevitable and imminent. Then the ejaculation phase begins, giving rise to contractions in the urethra and penis that cause the semen to escape.

Differences in orgasm between men and women

Female sexual anatomy and physiology work in such a way that they do not require a period of rest between orgasm and orgasm. If stimulation continues after the first orgasm, in women arousal can again reach the threshold that will lead to another orgasm. This is why a woman can be multi-orgasmic.

In the case of men, on the contrary, after ejaculation, there is a refractory period that lengthens the time necessary between one orgasm and another, as we will see below in the resolution phase.

The sexual response: resolution phase

After orgasm or orgasms, when stimulation ceases, the body prepares to return to the equilibrium phase before the cycle of sexual response begins. The heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, muscle tension, and vasocongestion in the genital area gradually disappear to give rise to the usual rhythm and coloration of our body at rest.

In this resolution phase, it is interesting to leave us a space to enjoy these invaluable moments and not run away to resume daily obligations.

Resolution phase in women

The swelling of the clitoris and the labia major and minor disappears, and the glans is visible again; the vagina and uterus regain their usual position, and the nipples their previous texture and hardness.

Resolution phase in men

The erection decreases, and the scrotum and testicles also regain their normal position. After ejaculation, which is not necessarily orgasm, the refractory period begins, which is the time a man needs to be able to start the entire cycle of sexual response again. This period has a variable duration depending on age and health status. In adolescents and young people, it can go from one to several hours, while in adults and in old age it can last even several days. During this time, the man will re-manufacture the pre-seminal and seminal fluids that are necessary for the male sexual response to occur.

The sexual response: satisfaction phase

The satisfaction is a subjective assessment that accompanies us throughout the erotic process and is particularly important at the end of the cycle of sexual response at that moment of pleasure and relaxation preceding the return to our daily lives. How do I feel right now? Did I like the experience? Have my expectations been satisfied?

Although it is a subjective experience, it is not for that reason less important, but on the contrary, it is a very significant experience for the future of our future sexuality, since it is a perception that leaves a clear mark. Therefore, the degree of satisfaction or dissatisfaction can bring us closer to or away from a new desire to initiate an erotic or autoerotic encounter. In short, if there is satisfaction, we will want to repeat since it will be something that we consider pleasant, desirable, and exciting. If there is no satisfaction, for whatever reason, it is most likely that our desire will diminish and the attraction for the sexual, erotic, or sensual experience will lose a part of its value.

In both women and men, the entire process of sexual response is accompanied by emotions and feelings, and a desired and expected excitement will not be experienced the same as excitement that we consider inappropriate. The feeling of adequacy is very important in our sexuality. In the same way, so are realistic expectations about what we can expect from our body, in addition to the knowledge to get the most out of our senses.

It is still a myth that satisfaction comes by itself. Therefore, whether you are a man or a woman, the best proposal is to explore and discover in a playful way the potentialities of each of the phases of your sexual response, suggests sexologist in Delhi.

Five questions about libido

Five questions about libido

At the origin of our sexual desires, libido evolves throughout life, for physical and psychological reasons. What do we really know about her? Sexy quiz, to be completed under the covers for two!

Is libido always at its lowest in winter?

False. Ah, it is easy to pretend that winter damages our libido! But that’s an unfounded excuse because studies have only found one case in which it was proven: seasonal depression, the condition caused by lack of light in the fall and winter.

The symptoms are varied: sadness, lack of energy, difficulty in making decisions, sleep and appetite disturbances … and sometimes sexual problems. Low sex desire treatment in Delhi includes psychotherapy, and sometimes antidepressants. But apart from this case, no excuse to hang out alone under the duvet. Moreover, the desire is in oneself, it does not come only from the other. In the beginning, everything is rosy and as soon as we see each other, we jump on each other. With time, desire becomes less automatic, it then comes from oneself and is worked on. Because sexuality often comes after children, work, shopping, cleaning, friends, keeping time for sexuality is therefore essential!

It’s up to us to spice up our winter sexuality, even if it means turning up the heating thermostat to warm up our libido.

Does libido depend on hormones?

In part. Libido depends on many factors, first and foremost hormones.

In women, it evolves according to the cycle. The female desire is under the yoke of several hormones, of which the testosterone (in much less quantity than the men) and the estrogens, the female sex hormones. These are produced at a peak just before ovulation, an archaic heritage of our animal condition: they boost desire in order to ensure the reproduction of the species! But do not worry if this is not the case, some feel much less this hormonal sexual tension.

When breastfeeding, a hormone, prolactin, inhibits sexual desire. It was long believed that at menopause, libido collapsed. A study put an end to this belief: it is especially the negative received ideas about sexuality after menopause, which are responsible for its collapse. Many women over 50 have fulfilling sexuality.

In man, we often hear that they want it all the time … It’s not that simple. In men, desire is more linear than that of women, because it is conditioned by testosterone, a male sex hormone secreted continuously. But in practice, other factors must be taken into account, such as stress, which can have a negative impact on male libido.

Is the drop in libido necessarily psychological?

False! This misconception is completely wrong. The decrease in desire can be caused by diseases, for example of endocrine origin (hypothyroidism, pituitary gland tumor, etc.), depression, and the consequences of childbirth or breastfeeding.

The andropause, the equivalent of the female menopause, is defined by the drop in testosterone level. Which can alter the desire in some men? Just like some drugs: certain pills, certain antidepressants, antihypertensive (diuretics), anxiolytics, etc. It is sometimes difficult to know if it is the medicine or the condition for which it is taken, that is causing the altered libido, but it is important to talk to your sexologist in Delhi, which may be able to decrease. Doses or change medication. On the other hand, it is forbidden to stop your treatment on your own!

The psychological component of libido is very important. Conditioning oneself positively with regard to sexuality, by granting it space and time, is also important to regain desire. The advice of women’s magazines (alluring underwear, a night at a hotel, and fulfillment of fantasies …) will not revolutionize desire, especially if the origin of the drop in libido is a disease or a treatment, or if there is a marital problem behind the decline in desire. But in some, especially those who are motivated together to relaunch their desire, they help to stimulate a little vis-à-vis sexuality, to give it a real place again, to be more available and attentive for her lover. Which is far from negligible…

Is there a treatment for low libido?

In case of a decrease in libido that lasts, it is recommended to talk to your GP or a sex specialist in Delhi, who will seek to identify the cause. The support then includes the treatment of a medical origin, the adaptation of low sex desire treatment in Delhi if it is involved, psychotherapy or even couple therapy in the event of marital conflict, a frequent explanation of decreased desire!

Do stress and fatigue have an effect on libido?

Often. The stress has variable effects on libido, according to the people. It makes adrenaline secrete, a hormone antinomic of the libido: for some lovers, impossible to make love when they are very stressed. On the contrary, others seek the well-being caused by the endorphins secreted after orgasm: a good remedy against stress!

As for fatigue, it can have a devastating effect on libido: sex requires significant physical effort and emotional investment. When one is exhausted, it may be impossible to find that animal energy necessary for the sexual drive and its gratification. The mental load is often invoked by women to explain their lack of desire, they are so exhausted from dealing with everything.

Work on his desire, on his way of conceiving sexuality, can then be interesting, seeing the sexual relation differently, no longer as the prelude to an obligatory orgasm, but simply as a moment of intimacy and pleasure, of reunion with the loved one. In addition, sexuality is not limited to penetration: masturbation, fellatio, cunnilingus are less expensive in terms of energy and emotions. The erotic massage also provides much valuable sensual interlude.